


Firefly Fic: Jailtime (1/1)

by Goldy



Category: Firefly
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-22
Updated: 2013-07-22
Packaged: 2017-12-20 05:55:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/883721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldy/pseuds/Goldy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> Of all the people Mal ever expected to have to bail out of a dusty rim-moon jail, Inara was not one of them.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Firefly Fic: Jailtime (1/1)

**Title** : Jailtime  
 **Disclaimer** : Firefly does not belong to me.  
 **Pairing/Keywords** : Mal/Inara, slightly crack-y.  
 **Summary** : _Of all the people Mal ever expected to have to bail out of a dusty rim-moon jail, Inara was not one of them._  
 **Word Count** : 1, 193  
 **Rating** : PG  
 **A/N** : I started this a while ago, and was buoyed when I read it and realized it wasn’t nearly as terrible as I thought. Not exactly my deepest work, but you know—that can be okay. *G*

Of all the people Mal ever expected to have to bail out of a dusty rim-moon jail, Inara was not one of them. From the dismayed look in her eyes, it appeared to be a sentiment she shared.

“Oh, not _you_ ,” she moaned. “I said Kaylee or Simon—God, even _Jayne_ would’ve been better.”

If he was the sensitive sort, he’d be insulted. As it was, his smirk only widened.

“Could just leave you in here,” Mal said, nonchalantly studying the back of his nails.

“Fine,” Inara said. “I’ll find my own way out, thanks.”

Mal rolled his eyes and handed a bag of coins to the overseeing officer. The officer opened it with a frown, and then picked through each coin, clearly intent on taking his sweet time inspecting each one.

“So,” Mal said casually. “Any particular reason you were locked up?”

“She attempted to steal one of the governor’s crowned jewels,” the officer said. “Security was on her in a manner of seconds.”

Mal glanced over at Inara in surprise, but she only shrugged, and said unconvincingly, “It looked pretty.”

The officer shot her a look that clearly stated he thought Inara was too stupid to live. Well, Mal had to hand it to her, she clearly exercised a release from jail that was far faster than anything he’d ever gone through with Jayne or Zoe.

The officer finished counting the coins, and graced Inara with a long-suffering look.

“Given your past record with the Guild, this incident will not go on your permanent record. However, I suggest that next time you see a pretty object, Miss Serra, you restrain yourself.”

Inara put on the fakest smile Mal had ever seen. “Absolutely. Never again.”

Mal looked at the officer dubiously, certain he couldn’t buy that, but he only shook his head and stomped away.

**

Aside from the rumples in her skirt, Inara did not appear to be any worse for the wear. The ride back to Serenity was short, silent, and uncomfortable.

Against Mal’s better judgment, he couldn’t drop the issue. Once onboard, he followed her thought the cargo bay and up along the catwalk, speaking loudly.

“So, want to pay me back now or in monthly installments?”

Inara’s scathing look actually made him take a few steps backwards.

Not that it stopped him from following her into the shuttle. Or… talking.

“C’mon, Inara, paying bail ain’t exactly cheap, you know. And I’d imagine a smart businesswoman like you could work something out. Won’t even charge you interest.”

It might’ve been his smirk, but suddenly one of Inara’s plush red pillows smacked him in the forehead, followed by another in the chest.

“Hey, now, there’s no call for—”

Inara grabbed a small Buddha statue off the coffee table, her posture telling him she’d clearly have no compunction throwing that, too.

Mal held out his hands, deciding that maybe a little humility wouldn’t exactly be remiss.

“Okay, whoa, maybe overstepped my bounds. No need to throw things.”

Inara slowly lowered the Buddha statue, but she still looked furious.

“You, _chûnrén_!” she said. “Why do you _think_ I was arrested?”

“Uh—” Mal said, “you saw a pretty necklace?”

Inara hurled the statue. It hit the wall somewhere beyond Mal’s right ear. Good sense would probably dictate leaving her alone. Not that he currently appeared to have much of it.

“Mal, I was on _lookout duty_!” she said. “Do you think I looked at that jewel and thought I’d steal it for the _fun_ of it? Do I really look that stupid to you? No, I stole the jewel because it was _my_ job to make sure security didn’t bust our _actual_ heist. Because I _thought_ I could help out on the job, that I might actually contribute to _your_ thieving! Instead, _I_ ended up in jail.”

She finished with an accusing glare, obviously daring him to argue.

Mal blinked. And then blinked again. Finally, he managed. “You got yourself arrested on account of me?”

Inara looked somewhat taken aback, as if not quite certain she would have come to that exact conclusion. “I… yes.”

Mal nodded. “Well, I… that is…”

“Will you leave now, please?” Inara said. She eyed the pillows at his feet. “I need to remake my bed. Evidently.”

“Uh—yeah,” Mal said, bending down to pick up the pillows. He placed them on the corner of the bed and then, not entirely certain of what he was doing, turned and pulled Inara in for a hug.

Inara’s voice was muffled somewhere near his shoulder. “Uh, Mal, what are you doing?”

“Thought that was sort’a obvious.”

Inara relaxed. Somewhat. “I’m still angry with you.”

She didn’t sound very angry.

He pulled away so he could look into her eyes, hands coming up to frame her face. “You. Aiding and abetting crime. That is surely something.”

She rolled her eyes, but smiled. “Please, I needed something to do besides sitting around and… crocheting.”

“Crocheting?”

“Companions are trained in all sorts of arts, Mal.”

“Right.”

Inara leaned closer to him. Warm breath puffed along his neck and chin.

Which seemed like a good excuse to kiss her. So he did.

She nipped at his bottom lip, as if to remind him that she still blamed him for being arrested. Well. Could be worse. He made a mental note that maybe letting Inara in on the job wasn’t such a poor move, after all.

They were interrupted by a large crash, and Mal pulled away to find Kaylee staring at them wide-eyed, her toolbox sitting in a messy pile at her feet.

“Hello,” she squeaked. “Say, you two look sort’a… busy.”

She said “busy” like she’d just set eyes on a new compression coil.

Inara gave him an incredulous look, obviously blaming him for forgetting to shut the door. “I, uh… there was…”

“Just checking out the back of ‘Nara’s tonsils?” Kaylee suggested. “Hey, Cap’n, no need to be getting all embarrassed about it. All know you two’ve been sweet on each other for a while now. Least, that’s what we all assumed, what with you disappearing into the shuttle for—”

“Was there something you wanted?” Mal said, vaguely gesturing at thin air with his hands, and making a very strong effort to make his voice sound authoritarian-like. “Some sort of situation?”

A desolate look settled in Kaylee’s eyes and she nodded gravely. “I think Jayne’s gone and landed himself in jail.”

Inara blinked. “I’m sorry?”

“Jayne’s got himself thrown in jail,” Kaylee said, eyes blinking apologetically. “Just got the wave. Said he was causing a scene back in town.”

“And the world’s righting itself,” Mal mumbled. “Any word on bail?”

He was beginning to think this job was going to cost him more than the coin it would bring in.

“Nope,” Kaylee said cheerfully. “But maybehap he can take ‘Nara’s lead.”

“And what exactly is that?” Mal said.

“You know,” Kaylee said, beginning to giggle. “Pay you back with some kissing.”

Mal opened his mouth, but Kaylee ran off, evidently delighted with herself. He didn’t have to turn around to know Inara was smirking.

“More like make him clean out the latrines for a month,” Mal muttered.


End file.
